pre-midnight silly-nation

You are my favorite exception
Though rules prove to be more in relation
There has always been walls that block our communication
It takes more than guts & tons of dedication
But it helps a lot that you are my inspiration.


I've dreamed of it's realization but the actualization of this situation might might be the death of me
...Condemnation.
And before I loose my head in this contemplation & illogical resolution condemned illusive in this institution without any radical explanation
Take heed & take caution
Options & notions & lamentations
Commotions, explosions & exaggerations
… A vague conversation


Fluctuation of the little heart that has resisted every limitation
Palpitations, recognition to the one thing that lives in my illusion


And before I end up yet again in another dimension, a conclusion
To the longest citation I’ve summoned without a single quotation
This is my invitation.


My only solution to my hallucination
An understatement of a confession
You aced all the qualifications & glued my attention & exceeded every expectation
… A noteworthy emotion.
It’s a lot more than just gravitation
You get me high like levitation
And as a conclusion
This feeling is not just an infatuation
I’ll tell you “I love you” & wait for the continuation…

A Leak

What are you doing?

Everyday I ask the same thing

And everyday I answer myself the same

I'm mourning

Yearning for a love that was never mine to begin with

And like water flowing, streaming to the unknown

I float along

Addicted?

A possibility

Obsessed?

A little less deadly,yes maybe

I guess I like the distraction

Conditioning myself to the improbable possibility of becoming not just a Me & a You

But an Us

Or maybe I just like talking to myself

At least I know what to say & not to say

Plus I don't have to ever wonder what I think about it

After all, I am talking to myself

So I mourn

And maybe cry a little bit too

Die a little more every day

Waiting for nothing

Waiting for no one but myself

Picking up pieces of myself & dropping it back again

Making sure I know where each piece lay

So I'd know what I'm supposed to do without being told

Mirrors are mean

I find them brutally honest

More honest than the phonies I see around

Calling themselves my friends

 

At least when I look into my reflection

It doesn't try to pacify my ego & kiss my *ss

Scars & all the flaws that come with it

Exposed in all its entirety

My entity

The identity I've managed to keep hidden beneath a smile

All these years

I keep trying to find a way out when the only way is in. I'm kidding no one but myself & I keep finding nothing & everything at the same time. I find myself laughing at myself & often times I crack non stop & the next thing I know, I have slipped into the darkness of my own making. Sometimes I wish I could make it go away. I know I could. But there's something about it that I can't let go.

And 'till the day that you finally decide to show up my doorstep

I know it won't be too late to save me

Wishing on a star was never really my thing

But if I ever get to have one wish tonight

I'd wish we could waste time together than apart.

Same story. A new beginning...

This isn't my first but it definitely feels like so. I'm not sure what I'm doing really but I've never been sure about anything else in my life anyways so what the heck.

An introduction would be good so I guess I'll start with that.

"Who I am hates who I've been."
I still am and I still do. But hate does nothing but perpetuate all of the the universe' negative energy turning into nothing but darkness. Uncomfortable darkness that will keep pulling you deeper and deeper into the abyss of nothingness.
Hate is the energy that fuels everything that spells evil in this world. Nothing but horrible misery awaits one who lives his life wallowing in his own weakness' and sorrow.

Who am I?
I question myself everyday. And everyday I answer myself differently.
Indifferent to all of the worlds unwittingly stereotypical cliches.

 I am my own odd self.

I am something occupying space in time.

I am much more than what you see from the outside.
I am my family.
I am my mom who murmurs at 80 decibels at the least.
I am my dad, the observant one in the backgrounds.
I am my older sister, the family's Isaac.
I am my older brother, impatient yet he makes do with what he has.
I am my younger sister, ever the gullible one yet somehow she finds her way around.

I am my special brother, an angel to each heart he's touched.

I am my other younger sister, I like to grow up fast & now.
I am heartache, I can't help but fall in-love with the insanity of it all.
I am insane.
I am weird since everyone's trying to be like everyone else. Not me.
I am music.
I am a pen just waiting for a thought or two.
I am what I'll never be.
I am whatever you think I am 'till you actually spend some time & get to know me.
I am that stranger sitting quietly at the back of the room looking at everyone else wondering what's going through their heads.
I am my bestfriend who doesn't know me at all but knows the things I never knew about myself.
I am sorry since I tend to get all worked up at the smallest of things which I keep blaming on the hormones.
I am a part of a really awesome plan.
I am a hug when you think no one else is around.
I am everything they say that I'm not.
I am responsibility over due.
I am a bruise I keep poking to see if it still hurts.
I am like everyone else, slightly different yet in a way still the same.
I am a garden full of wishful white roses & wishful thinking.

I am book, takes some time to read.

I am strangely addicted to thinking too much nonsense that end up building the foundations of my so called philosophical views about pretty much just about everything & more.
I am a smile.
I am a riot.
I am a walking contradiction.
I am of vampiric & wareworlf-ish decent.
I am a crack on the wall.

 

I am a destination.

 

I am headstrong & stubborn when the moment calls.
I am the last note on that lullaby my nana used to sing when I was younger.
I am what happens when you least expect it.
I am your shadow.
I am that feeling when everything seems to be blue & gray.
I am a real scream
I am a temple.
I am a tree, tall and proud and strong.
I am four seasons of the year.
I am a cloud.

I am that kid that your mom warned you about.

I am a fire.
I am annoying.
I am restless.
I am that drum beating in the jungle.
I am the eye that sees everything & nothing all at once.
I am nonsense.
I am peace.
I am a picture.
I am these words arranged in such a manner to form words that you may understand the beautiful mess that I am.
I am full of sh*t yet so full of heart.
I am the truth.
I am a lie.
I feel fine.
I am out of my mind.
I am what happens when the world goes to sleep.
I am life and all its brouhaha.
I started out as a joke & now look what I've become.

I am change, simply inevitable.

And whoever I am & whoever I'll be, you'll find me smiling for all the world to see.